You were never lost – the search for identity

This trend towards finding our identity is hurting people, cutting them up from within. Ripping them apart from loved ones and destroying connection.

N0-one ever gets to be who they want to be. That’s just a dream that stops us living today.

There is no other version of you out there waiting to be discovered. You exist only here and now.

You don’t have a single identity. You are a vast range of identities. One for every connection in our life.

You create your world and the people around you in our own image.

You exist in your world and you see that reflected back to you.

No-one ever gets to become who they want to be
Never did
Never will
But you can see who you are

You don’t have to look far
No struggle
No fight

Just stop
breathe
look and
listen
open yours eyes
see the world
that is you

Your world
everyone
reflected back at you
in eyes and through hearts
your reflection of you

Fighting and torment
sadness or fear
anger and overwhelm
chaos and confusion
you reflected back at you

Happiness
vitality
joy and calm
peace and content
you

And if for a while you see only darkness
be patient
still
look a little harder
the soft glow of the faintest ember
hope and connection
there inside of you
reflected back to you

Love
connection
people flawed as are you flawed
weak because of you
strong too

When searching for your identity
don’t thrash and flail your way through the world
don’t jab into the dark or plunge into depths
don’t fight and rip yourself a part
you wont find yourself there

Stop
breathe
look and
listen
open yours eyes
see the world
you created that world
the people
you have created all of them
that is you

Your world, created in your own image

You have found you

You were never lost

How hard can it be?

So many things left to be said.

My mind dances
swirls with words elegant
full of beauty and
meaningful.

Fun times
wondrous times
full of hope times.

Yet when it comes time to write them down
I find words lost
veiled in darkness
inaccessible.

No flow
I stumble.
Hands, fingers on the keyboard rough and inaccurate.

Reaching, desperately
stuttering.
Stammering blur of confusion.
Damned and dammed

How hard can it be
could it be
would it be?
How hard?

Fuck it!
words
really?

Thought and ideas
rhythm and rhyme
words
really?

Fuck it!

^{Photo by rebcenter moscow on Pexels.com}

Alcohol is an anaesthetic that numbs the soul
while the reality of life drills through your consciousness and
implants itself deep within.

Open-mindedness

Open-mindedness is not about changing what you think and may be willing to accept.

It’s about falling in love.

It’s about letting go of what you have become and saying to the world:
“ I love you. Let’s start over.”

^{Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com}

The Perils of Chasing Personal Happiness

For a long time I chased personal happiness.

I really just wanted to be happy. like everyone else. But no matter how much I searched, how hard I tried, I never felt any happier. In fact, pursuing happiness just seemed to make me less happy.

The more I focused on myself, the more I focused on my own happiness, the more I looked at myself; the more I wandered what was wrong with me.

When I looked inside of myself I saw sadness, frustration, isolation, hopelessness, fear, doubt, failings and every reason why I might be unlovable.

The more I compared myself to others, what I am; the more I saw envy, the more often I noticed how often I came up short.

The more that I wanted to change who I had become, the more I lost sight of who I am.

By thinking of my happiness, or lack of, by looking at myself, inside myself, I was missing out on experiencing wonder, pride, amazement, surprise and transcendence. I was not experiencing what it is to help others enjoy a better life. Satisfaction, fulfillment, a sense of contribution and achievement.

By thinking about my own happiness I was not being present for those closest to me.

In focusing on my own happiness I was missing out on joy.

To experience: wonder, pride, amazement, surprise, satisfaction, fulfillment and achievement. To witness transcendence and to experience joy:

• be active (get out in nature)
• spend time (having fun) with family and friends
• be present for others and focus on making their lives better.

Credit: “Edvard Munch’s Despair (1892) famous“/ CC0 1.0

Vulnerability in the Workplace – love

I was just talking to a chap about his struggles with Depression and how things feel so much worse when he is at work.

He told me about how, at work he felt like people were out to get him. It was making him anxious and he was finding it hard to face having to go to work.

This paralleled my own experiences, I struggled with depression for 5 years and it was hardest when I was at work but I needed to go each day because sitting at home by myself was even worse.

For the chap I was chatting to, going to work was more about needing to earn money and a fear of losing his job if he didn’t turn up.

Sitting at my desk every day, worried about what other people were saying about me. Thinking about who was out to get me. Scared that I wasn’t doing a good enough job. Scared that if the boss saw me he would remember to sack me. It was tough.

But somewhere along the path I learned the the best way to deal to this was by training myself to wish everyone happiness. Everyone. Everyone that I thought was out to destroy me. Even those that I didn’t like. As people walked past my desk, and most people in that company did, I would practice just thinking to myself, “I wish you happiness.” And it worked. The paranoia, the anxieties began to fade and before I realised it, I was genuinely wishing everyone happiness. (To this day “I wish you happiness” is at the foot of every business email that I send. I even have a T-shirt with it on.)

Recently I read something that espoused that same idea but instead of wishing people happiness it said to say “I love you”.

And perhaps that’s the key to why being at home feels so much better than being at work. At home not only do we feel that we are loved, but more importantly we feel that we can love.

I love the feeling of loving my partner, our family and friends. Loving just feels so good. It really does makes me feel better.

So what if we can love the people that we work with? Would that make being at work better?

It sure does. I love my new job and I love the people that I work with.

Life is so good!

YOU :: Purpose and Super-power

Everything that we are exists in and emanates from our body.

Our mind, soul, brain and heart exist in our body.

Our spirit and our consciousness emanate out from our body.

We alone are responsible for everything within and everything that emanates from our bodies.

The emotions and feelings that we have, we feel inside our body. It is up to us to manage and resolve our emotions and our feelings because they are inside our bodies.

Discharge emotions from your body lest they do you harm. If you are feeling sad use your body to feel happier. Use your body to rid yourself of shame, fear or anger?

It is up to us, and us alone, to make the best of who and what we are.

That is our purpose in life. We are the only ones that can do that. We are the only ones that can be us and make the best of us. No one else that exists, has ever existed or will ever exist can do that.

It is the one thing that you can do that no one else can do. It is your Super-power.

Make the most of you; mentally, physically and emotionally. That is how humanity will grow.

Just B

I don’t have to B anything.

I don’t have to B this or that, this way or that way. I needn’t B clear and defined.

I don’t need to B right or wrong. I don’t even need to B certain.

I am happy to live my life in a state of constant confusion, not knowing, always wondering.

I am happy to B not-knowing and curious. I am happy to B humble because humble does not mean diminishing myself but accepting that I still have learning and growing to do. To live with an open-mind.

Understanding that today’s ‘truth’ (if there is such a thing) will not be tomorrow’s.

That I am an ever-changing, ever-evolving, never-defined being.

I should not seek to B’come anything or anyone but only to B me, whatever that might B.

If I wonder what it is that I am meant to B, if I seek some truth, some definition of who I am, then I am B’ing neither this nor that. And if I were to ever discover either one or the other, how am I to know that what I have found really is me?

It can’t B. The moment that you discover something it stops B’ing so. It changes, you change, simply B’cause you have discovered it.

What you seek can never exist.

The natural human state is one of confusion, of not knowing, of always B’ing curious, ever-evolving, ever-changing. It can feel uncomfortable but anything comfortable stops us.

I no longer look for myself. I am here, a part of this mess, just where and how I should always B.

I should just B.

Little Pleasures

We can spend so much of our time and energy focussing on the big, important things in life: our careers, buying a house, sexuality, relationship, gender and racial equality, national politics, global politics, the global pandemic, the pursuit of happiness, religion, mental health. philosophies, the meaning of life, the purpose of our existence, God’s will or which God?

Just thinking about these things can bring tremendous stress and worry into our lives.

We forget about the little things like: feeling the sun on our face, grabbing your water bottle and going out for a walk or a run. Spending time walking through gardens or dipping our toes in the water at a local beach. Bushwalks or lying on the grass looking up at the clouds. The feeling of the wind through your hair or the rain on your face.

Visiting art galleries and wondering at the amazing creativity and skill of the artists. Treating yourself to just one little cake with brightly covered icing. Spending an afternoon in and out of shops just looking for bright colours, wonderful patterns and amazing textures without buying anything. Wearing your brightest clothes. Putting on some music and dancing coz no one is watching.

These little things, so easy to do, so cheap, they make us feel so damn good.

Have you noticed that?

It’s the little cheap things that we so often forget to do, that are the easiest things to do, that take very little time, that bring us the most happiness and sense of achievement.

Don’t forget the little pleasures in life. They are there for you.

The glass half-full / half-empty question

I see the glass and the water. I am grateful for both.

I see that half of the glass is full. I feel good.

The other half allows room for growth. That excites me.