Being there


One of the leading contributors to depression is a sense of social isolation.

Humans are hard-wired for connection. We need to connect, face-to-face with others, yet more and more we isolate ourselves, and each other, by sitting behind computer screens.

I’m introverted, I enjoy my alone time but one of the loneliest times in my life was after my heart-attack, when I felt stranded and forgotten. It was a loneliness far more intense than any loneliness that I had felt before.

I’m certain that this loneliness was a major contributor to my own depression. It is one of the reasons that I went back to work too early.

It worries and saddens me when I see messages of ‘support’ posted on social media like, “if you need to talk, I’m here for you.”

The fact that you are ‘here’ is a part of the problem.

Please don’t be here for someone that you care about. Be there for them. Be there with them.


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2 Responses to Being there

  1. tonyburns says:

    Well put sir. I’ve just contacted someone in order to organise being “there” rather than waiting for them to contact me “here.”


  2. Fiona says:

    Yes agreed, but we also must remember that they might no respond the way we want them to respond. The thing is we should still go ‘there’ even just to sit in the silence until they are ready. And that as a support person is very hard.


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