Maintaining Positive Relationships

ghandiWhen our relationships begin to feel uncomfortable, struggle or fall apart, its a very clear sign that the relationship we have with our self is in trouble. That’s not to say that we should blame our self for the break up of a relationship. However, if we experience a pattern of failed relationships then perhaps we do have to accept that we may be the common cause.

Humans are literally “hard-wired” with the desire and need to connect. We are social beings who thrive on healthy relationships. And yet, the importance of positive relationships is often overlooked.

Because of our need for connection we gravitate towards kindred spirits, people with the same outlook on life, the same beliefs that we have. Yet these are often the wrong people for us to be with. When we are feeling down or negative, they keep us down and negative, because they have the same outlook on life as we have (that’s why we gel as friends). They see things the way that we see them.

When we are down it is hard to be around positive, happy people because they simply remind us of how bad our life is. Best to be around someone that knows exactly how we feel, because they feel the same.

But recognise that living this pattern means that you are bringing as much negative energy into their lives that they bring to yours. It is uncomfortable but you need to be brave and begin making some changes.

The most important relationship we can ever have is the relationship that we have with our self. This relationship is therefore the one that we ought to pay the most attention to. But other than that, we should treat it as we would any other relationship.

Too often we look at relationships with a “what-do-I-get-out-of-this?” perspective. That’s not how good relationships work. It’s about give and take.

Think about what you want out of a relationship, then give it. You’ll be surprised at how much better your relationships become.

1.  Trust
2.  Acceptance
3.  Support
4.  A kind and listening ear
5.  Empathy
6.  Someone to call on when you need a hand
7.  Share and celebrate
8.  Reduce stress
9.  Happiness and satisfaction
10: Time

The strongest and best relationships are made when all parties give and receive. If you want these 10 benefits for yourself, you have to give them to others and to yourself.

Learn to not give a f*ck about things that don’t really matter anyway. So many things seem so important and we stake our relationships on them, but how important are they really? If we look back at today in a years time, how important are those things that we are worrying about right now?

Recognise that the relationships that we have with others (personal, family, work, home), reflect our own relationship with our self and work on making that relationship a positive one.

Learn to accept and celebrate, rather than fear, differences. Focus on the positive things that you may have in common with someone and forget about what it is that divides you.

Live with the courage to change things and not in fear that things may never change..

Be with happy people and become happy. Be with healthy people and become healthy. Be around successful people and succeed. Be with positive people and become positive.

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