20140403_174852 - CopyI am reasonably confident that its all about certainty. We like certainty. It gives us hope and a reason for doing what we do.

Its the loss of certainty about our life that traumatises us who have looked into the void that is our own death. Suddenly nothing at all was certain any more.

It is certainty that I envy in people who have great faith or belief.

It is the loss of certainty that drives us into depression and it is certainty that we crave when we are in the depth of depression. So much so that some are drawn to grasp at the only certainty that remains for them, death.

Without certainty we know only fear and fear is difficult to live with.

For some people science holds all of the answers and brings certainty. For others its religion. Prisoners have certainty. People who live under an oppressive regime know certainty. People in negative and damaging relationships can cling to the certainty that the relationship brings them.

It is all somehow very comforting this certainty. Its why living with a problem is sometimes easier than working towards a solution. We just don’t know if that solution is really going to make our lives any better.

Even the risk takers must be certain that they will survive. They must be certain about their own abilities. Either that or they are certain about what will happen if they don’t survive.

I was so certain when I began writing this blog, but now I really am not so sure.

Is certainty what its all about? If we have it we live a content life. If we don’t then we spend our lives seeking it. When it is taken away from us, what then?

God, love, career, family all give us certainty in life. Growth, power, acceptance and acknowledgement, they all give us certainty. Exploring and knowledge about our world and about ourselves gives us more certainty than we had when we set out on our journey. Trust is most certainly all about certainty.

Sure, we like some variety, spontaneity and risk. We need it to keep us interested and alert. To keep us on our toes and practiced in looking out for possible threats, but we can only do it if we know that we can return to a base of certainty in our lives.

Phrases and words such as: maybe, kind-of, perhaps, [its] like, might, could and possibly all leave us in doubt, unsure, uneasy, uncertain.

We naturally respect someone who gives us a definite answer like ‘yes’ or ‘no’ because it gives us certainty. Whether that person is right or wrong seems to become almost irrelevant. If they give us certainty we will agree with them.

Banishing the uncertain words from your vocabulary in favour of more powerful and definitive yes/no expressions will draw people towards you and it will make you feel a whole lot more confident in yourself.

Don’t worry about having to be right or wrong. That’s not important. The people that matter in your life will always forgive you.

Don’t let your certainty stop you from growing. There is always something new to learn and explore. What you believe today may not be your truth tomorrow, but don’t live in doubt and uncertainty.

Don’t let ideas become truths unless they are worthy. Hearsay or someone else’s opinion is not proof of fact. If you think something may or may not be true, do not repeat it until you have looked into it thoroughly.

Avoid assumptions, and weak connections between facts, they are only guesses and guesses are uncertainties.

Certainty IS what it is all about. We can all live more peacefully, optimistically and content when we grow from a base of certainty.

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