Holding on, letting go …


So, I don’t think this post is going to go where I initially intended to go. I had intended to write about people who hold onto anger and resentment. People who don’t realise that they do it and the harm that it can do to them and their relationships.

I wanted to write about how to recognise what is happening inside of you and around you and how to fix it.

I wanted to write about how we have to be careful that we don’t pass these behaviours onto those around us and down through the generations.

We have to understand where these behaviours come from and how we are susceptible to learning them without even knowing it.

It all became too hard to write, too intricate to explain and too difficult to deal with and it actually made me begin to feel bad. I deliberately avoid negative thoughts and things that make me feel bad.

I thought about my ‘Angel’ and that made me feel better, energised and powerful enough to write this post. I came at it from a completely different angle, a more uplifting and positive one.

And that was a part of my answer:

Focus on Good Goals: things that you can do immediately to have an immediate impact. Don’t fight the big battles. Determine to do one small thing now that can have a positive effect on how you feel.

This may be a good deed for yourself or someone else. It could be as simple as making someone a cup of tea.

Don’t look for any reward or acknowledgement focus only on how that deed makes you feel.

Delete someone’s phone number or remove them from facebook (even if they are your oldest, closest friend) if their comments bring you down. Look after yourself don’t worry about them.

As I was writing this, I noticed a beautiful friend post something on facebook. I commented “nostalgia can be a cruel friend!”  Her response was full of positive energy and set me back on my heals: “this friend is full of nothing but fond memories and the friends i made along the way!”

Thanks for the positive energy and thoughts …. I’m glad to have you in my life.

Look for your Angels. Who do you draw positive energy from and who makes you feel a little bit down? If you are honest with yourself, you may be surprised with the answers.

Remember that you are the average of the people that you surround yourself with the most. Take a good look at the people that you spend most of your time with. The 5 people you spend most of your time with at work. The people you live with. The people you socialise with. Remember that you absorb their energy, it is their energy that is making you feel and behave the way you do.

A new one that I learnt tonight: don’t spread any more hate into the world.

Don’t express hateful messages. This usually means that you are holding on to something that can only hurt you. Expressing such thought is a sign that you are looking for validation for holding onto your anger or resentment. You are seeking vengeance. Holding all of that inside of you is only cutting you up and no one else. Anyone who encourages or supports this kind of behaviour is merely giving you permission to carry on hurting yourself. What kind of energy are they feeding you?

Think before you speak, or post or comment. People are busy trying to deal with their own shit in life, they’re not interested in yours and they don’t need your shit bringing them down any more. Did you ever wonder where all your friends went?

Find a positive way to deal to your anger or resentment. Join a gym, a boxing gym if it helps. Write it down or paint. Get professional help. Distract yourself, just don’t spread any more hate into the world.

I want to learn to meditate. I know I shouldn’t say ‘want’, I should just do it, and I will, I am. I’m learning it my way; ‘trial and error’ and it works and it will work better, the better I get at it, the more I try it.

The more mistakes I make, the better I will get.

I want to I WILL end this post on a positive. I just need to remind you to look at what you are holding in, write down all the hurts that you have felt in your life, everything that makes you feel angry, because all of that matters to you. And then let it all go … some people suggest that you burn your notes. For you it may be throwing them into the sea and watching them float away. There are plenty of things you can try. Its worth trying isn’t it?

Remember the Good Goals I mentioned at the beginning of this article? This can be one of them.

There, I told you I would finish this on a positive note.

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One Response to Holding on, letting go …

  1. Fiona says:

    I totally agree with holding on to hate is a total waste of your energy and not worth holding onto, because while you are hating something or someone it is time you are not loving something or someone. It is why I dont understand that people find it easy to hold on to the hate that (eats them up inside) than to drop it and learn to live to be happy.

    Liked by 1 person

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